The Waiting Game

First and foremost, YES, I am still pregnant. 6 days from my due date and time is moving at a snail’s pace. But…I digress…

I’ve decided to try and find the joy in these last few days of Little Man being an only child. As exhausting as it is getting out and about, I’m trying to do special things with him daily: mommy and son dates, if you will 🙂 Plus, the more I can walk around and let gravity do it’s thing, the better!

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I took him to the aquarium for his first visit earlier this week. He wasn’t too enamored with anything in particular. I mainly just let him wander around at his own leisure and I followed closely behind. He was, albeit briefly, interested in the sharks OR it was simply the fact that I set his snack bowl on the tank ledge so that he’d have to walk over there to grab it. Regardless, I was certain to snap a picture.

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We may be excited to welcome Baby Girl to the family but this Little Man will always be the one who made me a momma.

Here’s to the next chapter….

Until next time Mommas 🙂

~entrepreneurmomma

When the Balance is Off

I had a near mompreneur breakdown on Saturday! Erica Weddings had 3 weddings this past weekend. My particular wedding was one of the most difficult weddings I had had in quite some time. For no reason really other than it was just a lot of details to manage. Plus, it was a Nigerian wedding which I had never done before so there was some added pressure and stress in that regard since there were so many elements that were completely new to me. On that note, I had spent many, many hours in the days leading up to the wedding working to prepare. More than I usually do.

Going in to Saturday I was already operating on a Little Man deficit – i.e. I had spent more time away from him over the previous 2 days than I had spent with him. So, about mid- Saturday, it hit me! I missed him like crazy and I knew I wouldn’t see him until Sunday morning. I texted The Husband and told him that I missed Little Man so much that I thought I could cry.

It’s moments like those that make me question my entire working mom status. Was the 16 hours on my feet (without eating and barely drinking anything, mind you), away from my husband and child, worth it? I got caught up in that for a bit but was forced to move on as the wedding moved on.

I don’t think those moments will ever stop coming. They are bound to hit me from time to time. And I keep reminding myself that this particular wedding was an exception to the rule. I don’t typically have to work 16 hours on a Saturday for my usual clientele.

So, Sunday and Monday was all about catching up on my rest and catching up on time with Little Man. We did our usual routine of a Sunday afternoon nap together. It’s pretty much the only time he’ll get somewhat snuggly with me and I just love it!

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And, as far as Monday, I did something I haven’t done in a very long time: I didn’t do a shred of work ALL DAY LONG!!! It meant a bigger to-do list for today but it was worth it.

It all comes back to that work vs. personal life balance that I’ve talked about before. I had let the temporary “imbalance” get to me. It takes a constant conscious effort to make it all work.

Until next time Mommas 🙂

~entrepreneurmomma

The 11th Commandment

Thous shalt sleep! <—-Don’t we wish God had included this for us tired working mommas? Perhaps, then, we wouldn’t feel so guilty for collapsing in bed whilst the house remains a mess in one way or another.

This past weekend has always been a big one for my family. The Husband and I have our anniversary on May 8th which often coincides with Mother’s Day Weekend. Speaking of that, it was my first Mother’s Day!!

On Friday we both took a 1/2 day off of work to celebrate our anniversary. We started by getting up early and going to breakfast with Little Man. Then we came home and got him down for a good nap while we tied up some loose ends in our respective jobs. Then we spent the afternoon as a family at the zoo.

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Can we talk about the awesomeness of baby-wearing for a minute?! I don’t wear Little Man crazy often…just when it’s necessary for convenience. But, when he’s sick of the stroller and it’s nap time and you’re nowhere near his crib, the Ergo is a God-send!! I may not have gotten his usual 75-90 minute nap out of him but 10 minutes against my chest and he was out like a light for a quick 20 minute power nap – just enough to take away the crankiness. 

After the zoo, we loaded Little Man up and dropped him off at the grandparents’ house for a sleepover. The Husband and I had big plans for a nice dinner out and then going to a movie (which we pre-purchased our tickets for).

Dinner was great. Too great! We both got in the car after leaving the restaurant and just sighed in exhaustion. Now, it probably didn’t help that I had 2 lemon drop martinis with dinner but, we were celebrating! Nonetheless, we were totally lame and went and got our movie tickets refunded and headed home…to SLEEP!!! No joke, we were in bed by 8:10. I had to wake up at 9:30pm to pump but I was right back to bed by 10pm.

How is it that having children is so exhausting? People, I have a baby that has been sleeping through the night since he was 12 weeks old. I know, I know…some of you probably hate me for saying that 🙂 But, seriously, he sleeps 11-12 hours on his own every night. So, I wonder why I’m this tired. I feel guilty for being this tired when my baby sleeps as much as he does. Especially since I go to bed myself at a decent hour (10-11pm) most nights. But, being a mom, I just accept that this is the way it is. The day in, day out of caring for him, attending to his needs, entertaining him, feeding him, you name it – It’s easy for us to forget that mental exhaustion is REAL! And too much of it leads to physical exhaustion. I suppose there needs to be a balance so as to avoid this exhaustion. And being a working mom makes it really hard to find the right balance of exerting your mental capacity for your work and for your child without letting it take a toll on your body and, frankly, your marriage.

I’m not saying I have the answer. But, I am saying that I recognize this and am going to try better. So that maybe next year when The Husband and I celebrate our anniversary we can manage to stay awake long enough to watch a movie together!

I think part of the solution is building in time to our day to do something for ourselves. Even if it’s just 30 minutes to take a hot bath or to sit on the back porch and read a book. Sometimes this really helps me relax and, in turn, makes me a better wife, mother and business owner. I just need to get better at making time for this on a daily basis. Here’s hoping!

Until next time Mommas 🙂

~entrepreneurmomma

Embracing Imperfections

You know what really sucks about coming home from a vacation? Catching up on….well, everything!

Unpacking turns into 27 loads of laundry. Groceries are either non-existent or everything has expired. All that work that I said could wait until I got back now haunts my every waking moment.

All of my imperfections are slapping me in the face as I try to keep this household, this family and this business afloat.

Just breathe. Prioritize.

Side Note: Yesterday afternoon I realized that I hadn’t showered since Saturday. SATURDAY, people!!!  Immediate priority #1: personal hygiene. Sometimes us busy moms need to be reminded of this basic need.

It definitely takes good prioritization when you’re a working mom. But, I feel like a Stay-At-Home-Mompreneur requires prioritization to the maximum amount. And, despite my momentary lapse, I’ve always felt like I’ve done a pretty good job of prioritizing my life…at least when it comes to the big things.

The big picture of priorities in my life looks like this:

  1. God
  2. Husband
  3. Son
  4. Work

Now, within each of those pieces falls about a million tiny little tasks to accomplish on a daily basis. But, I’ve found that when I keep the big picture in focus, all the tiny pieces fall into place much easier.

The true struggle for Entrepreneurs is that we deal with the blessed curse of allowing our work to define us. It’s so easy for us to find our value and self-worth wrapped up in our businesses. Unfortunately, when this happens, everything suffers. Our familial and romantic relationships become secondary and, over time, can dwindle down to non-existent. Our health suffers due to lack of sleep and high amounts of stress. The list goes on. But what I realized a few years ago that was a game-changer for me is this:

Erica Weddings is what I do. Not who I am.

Who I am is an imperfect child of a perfect Savior, a wife and a mother. Just saying it is a weight lifted off of my shoulders.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE what I do and I’m blessed beyond measure to be able to do it. But if I let it take precedence over my God, my husband and my son, then I become tired, burnt out and resentful. I know this because, unfortunately, I’ve been there and I hope to never be there again.

So what does this prioritization tangibly look like day in and day out? For me, it’s waking up with my son around 7am and enjoying some time with him. The Husband may watch him for a bit before he goes to work and I’ll get a few things done around the house, reply to a few emails, etc. Once The Husband is gone then it’s Little Man and I against the world! When he is awake, I’m with him – soaking up every minute. When he naps, my butt kicks into high gear (showers, work, dishes, laundry, eating, cooking, etc.). And when The Husband gets home, work is done!!! He helps get us through our bedtime routine and Little Man goes down for bed around 7pm. Then The Husband and I have the whole evening to ourselves! We are usually just lazy couch bums but we like it that way!

You may look at everything I laid out above and see my priority list and wonder, “Where is God in all this?” I wonder that myself sometimes but I guess the answer is: God is IN everything I do, all day long! I squeeze in my quiet time whenever I can during the day and I’m singing praise & worship music pretty much all day every day. That’s one of the extraordinary things about Him: keeping Him #1 is so simple. All it takes is a genuine love and appreciation for who He is and what He’s done and you’re golden…you can’t help but meditate on His greatness.

No single day is perfect. Some days the laundry doesn’t get done. Some days my email inbox has one too many emails left unanswered at the end of the day. Some days (or 4 days in a row!!!) I forget to shower. Some days I get stuck on a phone call with a client and my son is stuck playing alone on the floor with his pacifier to keep him quiet.

Bottom line: I’m not perfect. But none of us are. So, we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves. Thank God that His Son was perfect for us so we don’t have to be!

Until next time Mommas 🙂

~entrepreneurmomma