Stuck in the Middle

You know that painful spot? The one between the rock and the hard place? That’s where I’m at right now.

If I had a nickel for every person who has contacted me since the SCOTUS ruling last week to inquire about how it might affect my business….

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so torn on an issue. An issue that is obviously a critical one for me as a Christian. But at the same time is an issue that has the potential to drastically effect my business…my livelihood.

I heard a great message on Sunday morning from my Pastor on this issue. A message that I agreed with 100% on every single point. I want to stand up for my Christian values and declare what I believe to be true and right – I have a right as an American to do that. I’m so thankful for that right to speak my peace. On that same note, I have the right as a business owner to decide how I want to operate my business. The unfortunate thing is that we have already begun to see this right challenged among wedding professionals – long before the official SCOTUS ruling.

I love weddings. I love seeing couples in love. I love being a part of a couples’ most beautiful day. I love marriage. Therefore, I love what I do. But, I have Christian values that pull me in a specific direction on this issue. But, what risk am I taking by making it an official policy of my business to not take same-sex clients? I don’t know. And the part of me that doesn’t want to find out sets on one shoulder while on the other shoulder rests my conscience.

It would be a heck of a lot easier to take a stance on this issue if I wasn’t in the wedding industry. But I am. I’m still trying to determine if this season of our culture coincides with me being in business out of pure coincidence or divine appointment. And if it’s divine appointment then what am I to do? Am I supposed to stand up, declare my Christian stance and refuse same-sex business and risk losing my business? Or am I supposed to welcome all, judge not and go on with business as usual and, potentially, see an increase in business?

Too many questions left unanswered at the moment. I just don’t know. So, I’m waiting on the Lord. I wish I had a more profound response to all of these questions. But, I just don’t right now.

Here’s what I do know….

My heart hurts! Not just for the predicament I’m in but for my country as a whole. I grieve this decision – not just the SCOTUS decision but, also, the decision I have to make in regards to my business. I grieve. Not because I hate homosexuals. I don’t. Not because I think all homosexuals go to hell. I don’t. I grieve for the heaviness of such a decision being left in the hands of 9 (NINE!!!!) people. 9 people who made a decision for the entire nation. A decision that, in turn, will have a direct effect on my business in the months and years to come. A decision that has backed me into a corner where I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Now, that’s not to say that I think little ol’ me in Oklahoma should carry the full weight of such a decision for the country. I’m just one person. But, I would have loved to have had a vote on the issue. I would have appreciated being able to voice my opinion on a ballot at my local polling place. However, I understand that’s just not how our system of government works in cases like this and I respect our judicial system.

So, for now, all I can do is pray and ask for His guidance.

I don’t know what kind of feedback, if any, I’ll get on this post. But if anybody wishes to speak against my stance on this I simply make a plea that you keep it polite. I have no desire to create division or lose friends over this. No such issue or debate should cause such an unfortunate event as ending friendships.

Until next time Mommas 🙂

~entrepreneurmomma

Morning Silence

It’s 7am here in Oklahoma and, for the first time, I am actually up before my son. I am often times awake before Little Man wakes up but never am I actually out of bed being productive in any sort of way. My usual routine is to lay in bed until Little Man begins to wake and then I get up and brush my teeth real quick, splash my face with water and then straight into the nursery. You see, I’m not a morning person. I’m also not a night owl. In my natural state, I am a mid-morning-to-rise and early-to-bed kind of gal…always have been. You can imagine my daily struggle. LOL

I’ve had many other Mompreneurs tell me that they get up before the kids daily and that they are typically the most productive with that brief window of time. Now, I’m sure they are absolutely right! And I can see what they’re talking about. I feel great right now being able to type this blog post with a sleeping baby in the next room. And I’d love to say that I’ll do the same tomorrow. I’d love to say that I’m going to get up 30 minutes before Little Man every day so that I can have my quiet time with the Lord before the daily grind begins. I can certainly try. But, let’s be honest, I’ll probably fail more than I succeed. Not for lack of motivation or desire but, mainly, because trying to get me out of bed before 7am is like trying to pull gum out of your hair. Not to mention, having a husband who could sleep through a tornado sleeping next to you really makes your bed feel extra cozy in the mornings.

So, we will see what tomorrow holds. But, for now, I’m going to enjoy this morning’s peaceful silence and the stillness that currently fills my home. Little Man just so happens to STILL be asleep but, The Husband is now awake. I guess he can only remain in his sleeping-like-a-log state if I’m laying in the bed too. Oh well…

Until next time Mommas 🙂

~entrepreneurmomma

When the Balance is Off

I had a near mompreneur breakdown on Saturday! Erica Weddings had 3 weddings this past weekend. My particular wedding was one of the most difficult weddings I had had in quite some time. For no reason really other than it was just a lot of details to manage. Plus, it was a Nigerian wedding which I had never done before so there was some added pressure and stress in that regard since there were so many elements that were completely new to me. On that note, I had spent many, many hours in the days leading up to the wedding working to prepare. More than I usually do.

Going in to Saturday I was already operating on a Little Man deficit – i.e. I had spent more time away from him over the previous 2 days than I had spent with him. So, about mid- Saturday, it hit me! I missed him like crazy and I knew I wouldn’t see him until Sunday morning. I texted The Husband and told him that I missed Little Man so much that I thought I could cry.

It’s moments like those that make me question my entire working mom status. Was the 16 hours on my feet (without eating and barely drinking anything, mind you), away from my husband and child, worth it? I got caught up in that for a bit but was forced to move on as the wedding moved on.

I don’t think those moments will ever stop coming. They are bound to hit me from time to time. And I keep reminding myself that this particular wedding was an exception to the rule. I don’t typically have to work 16 hours on a Saturday for my usual clientele.

So, Sunday and Monday was all about catching up on my rest and catching up on time with Little Man. We did our usual routine of a Sunday afternoon nap together. It’s pretty much the only time he’ll get somewhat snuggly with me and I just love it!

IMG_0492

And, as far as Monday, I did something I haven’t done in a very long time: I didn’t do a shred of work ALL DAY LONG!!! It meant a bigger to-do list for today but it was worth it.

It all comes back to that work vs. personal life balance that I’ve talked about before. I had let the temporary “imbalance” get to me. It takes a constant conscious effort to make it all work.

Until next time Mommas 🙂

~entrepreneurmomma

Sing-a-Long Time

My head is currently about to explode. For many reasons really. But primarily because A) I’m working feverishly to finish up my timeline for my very large wedding this weekend while ensuring that the TWO additional weddings we have going on this weekend are taken care of by my staff and B) because Little Man is currently sitting in his playpen next to me in my office and has all three of his musical toys playing at once. Yes, I’m simultaneously listening to the ABC’s sung by a stuffed dog, a Mozart classical piece playing on a music box and a song about squares being sung by a stuffed lion.

I mean, I love that my kid loves music. But, please son!

I wish I had more time for a thoughtful blog post this week but it’s just not in the cards right now.

Until next time Mommas 🙂

~entrepreneurmomma