Did I Really Choose This?

I have moments of doubt daily. Moments when I wonder why I chose to own my own business instead of working for somebody else. I mean, I have a college degree. I could go get an office job where I’m paid a comfortable 5 figure salary. A job where I can clock out at 5 and work doesn’t follow me home. A job where clients and customers don’t have my personal cell phone number to be able to text/call me at all hours of the day and night. A job that gives me all major holidays off. A job that gives me Saturdays off! Oh glorious Saturdays how I miss thee!!!

The other option would be to not work at all. I always wanted to be a mom and now I am one. I work from home so I have the privilege to earn an income and take care of my son. But the income isn’t critical to my family’s well-being. We don’t NEED it. So why do I keep on keeping on? Would I be fulfilled being just a stay-at-home mom? A lot of women are…I admire them. But is that me?

So these moments of doubt and seeming regret creep in. Then, without ever seeking it out, I manage to come across something that reminds me why I DID choose this. Today, it was a bank statement.

You see, I keep ALL of my bank statements for my business. Every. Single. One. I don’t know why. I know it’s probably completely unnecessary but, at this point, it’s habit and I’ve built up quite a collection. As I was adding my most recent bank statement to my binder, I saw my very first business account bank statement from September of 2007 right there on top. This 3 page statement outlines one transaction for the entire 30 day statement period: one $300 check deposited. It was my first payment from my first official Erica Weddings clients. I remember making that deposit and I suddenly recall how far I’ve come as a business owner. Never mind the fact that it disgusts me how little I was charging but, I digress.

So, how far have I come? FAR!!! I was still living at home with my mom when I started my business. I was 23 years old. I had just graduated college with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration (focus in Meetings & Destination Management) and I had a Training Certificate from the Association of Certified Professional Wedding Consultants under my belt as well. I still held a full-time job as the Administrator at my church. I wasn’t married (although my husband and I were dating). I had no kids. And I was just young enough to have the guts to do just about anything to build my business. Only those things which were ethical of course LOL. Things like walk into a wedding vendor networking event where I didn’t know a single person there and I had ZERO weddings to showcase except for the few I had done for friends, pro-bono, in the years prior.

That’s where I started. Where am I now? Well, I am now working my business full-time. I am a founding member of a local wedding vendor networking group (The Tulsa Wedding Society) that has grown from 5 founding members to over 30 of my hometown’s most elite wedding professionals. I employ 6 girls on my staff/team (all part-time). I have completed nearly 150 weddings. My company has been featured on national wedding blogs and in magazine publications that have a very wide circulation in my home state. And I get multiple calls/emails every week from young girls looking for jobs. I own a company that people actually want to work for?!?! Is this for real?

So, today, I’m thankful for that bank statement that reminded me of how far I’ve come. It’s all the motivation I need to make it one more day in this crazy world of entrepreneurship!

Now to folding my son’s laundry while he naps. Oh wait, I hear him. He’s waking up. DANG IT!!!!

Until next time Mommas 🙂


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